Sex Must Be Taken Seriously.
Men and Women Are Different.
Some Desires Are Bad.
Loveless Sex Is Not Empowering.
Consent Is Not Enough.
Violence Is Not Love.
People Are Not Products.
Marriage Is Good.
Those are the chapter titles in Louise Perry’s book The Case Against the Sexual Revolution: A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century. It’s the kind of information and advice a mother (one who is wise or became so the hard way) would give her daughter to help her understand how to navigate youth and early adulthood with minimal wounds of body and soul.
I write often about the consequences of abortion on all involved. Yet abortion isn’t an isolated wound. It’s one in a series of injuries that often begins with the idea that we need not take sex seriously, that sex is not about commitment, reproduction, and raising the next generation, but that it’s about amusement and recreation and can be devoid of negative consequences.
Perry asserts that women have been deceived into believing that sexual freedom benefits them even while “it so obviously serves male interests.”
Society has further convinced us that men and women are the same, which has led to the idea that women can take care of themselves without extra precautions. Such an approach. Perry argues, often places women in “the perfect environment for the would-be rapist.” There is “cultural pressure,” she says, to reject messages encouraging women to “stick together on nights out, to keep their friends safe.” Cultural pressure doesn’t end there.
Our society has fallen victim to a belief that there are no “bad desires.” This modern tenet presses us to suppress our natural and protective “moral intuition. And not just “disregarding [our inclinations against that which is unnatural] but actively resisting moral intuition” (emphasis Perry’s), such as the need to protect not only ourselves but also our children. We shouldn’t be surprised to see, she says, that after the breakdown of “sexual taboos,” all taboos would be “considered fair game.” Hence we see the assertion that children are capable of sexual desire and consent and the efforts to sexualize children and instill in them the foundational premise that “loveless sex” is harmless.
Not only is “loveless sex” not empowering, but it’s also not all that enjoyable. Perry provides solutions to help us avoid falling victim to a “sexual culture that is fundamentally not geared toward protecting your safety or wellbeing.”
Further, she does an expert job explaining inconsistencies in the jargon and results of the sexual revolution. For example, laws draw arbitrary lines between statutory rape and consensual sex because a girl has reached a particular birthday of consent.
The same girl is abused and assaulted one day and the legal prize of desire the next.
Acknowledging that there “is no other way the law could function,” Perry states that “consent has more layers to it.” That a female has said yes “may do as a legal defence, it is not a convincing moral defence” (sic) (Perry’s emphasis) because consent can be urged, manipulated, or even coerced.
Consent to sex, manipulated or otherwise, can lead to a twisted notion of consent to violence. Women who are “inexperienced or overly trusting” can “confuse jealousy for fidelity and so be drawn to” those who would have them believe that violence is love.”
Sexual manipulation extends itself to prostitution as well. When Perry explains that people are not products, she highlights contradictory, even schizophrenic, efforts in England, on one hand, to legalize prostitution, and on the other, to legally forbid sex for rent, exchanges that have emerged in college towns within the UK.
“The whole point of paid sex is that it must be paid for. It is not mutually desired by both parties — one party is there unwillingly, in exchange for money, or sometimes other goods such as drugs, food or shelter.” Perry argues, among other assertions, that sexi should be done “with” someone else, not “to” someone else (emphasis Perry’s). “Once you permit the idea that people can be products, everything is corroded.”
This book culminates in a final full chapter with a surprising chapter title considering its writer holds an evolutionary viewpoint. “Marriage Is Good” illustrates that we live in “a natural human life cycle,” either dependent on someone else or “giving away some portion of your freedom, which runs counter to what we’re all supposed to want” for the sake of someone else.
Marriage is protection for women and children, not just a ball and chain of patriarchy as many feminists have claimed for decades.
Perry’s Conclusion “Listen to Your Mother” offers advice “I would offer my own daughter” urging readers to trust their moral intuition, learn how to recognize sexually aggressive men, and protect themselves by only having “sex with a man if you think he would make a good father to your children.”
She ends with optimism that women are wising up to the harm the sexual revolution has foisted upon them.
The Case Against the Sexual Revolution is well-researched, well-documented, well-argued, and easy to read. Perry stumbles across biblical principles through study and science although not completely as she supports same-sex marriage.
She avoided any argument of abortion except to say this: “And whatever you think about the ethical status of the foetus, we should all be able to agree that an abortion is not a good thing for a woman to go through, given such medical risks as uterine damage or sepsis, not to mention the emotional consequences, which are not trivial.”
I recommend this book for the evidence she provides in support of much that Christians have argued all along with a minor caveat about a smattering of unsavory language.
The sexual revolution was a lie. Perhaps you knew that from your youth. Perhaps you, as many of us did, learned it the hard way. When an evolutionary-feminist like Louise Perry writes a scholarly book backing up that claim, liberals and conservatives alike would be wise to consult it.
The sexual revolution was a lie.
“It was a lie all along. It’s time, at last, to say so.”
And may her message be heard and heeded far and wide to the healing and wholeness of many.
Thank you for sharing about this emotional topic. There continues to be a need for many prayers.
On the one hand, I know this book is needed. On the other hand, it breaks my heart that it’s needed.
A profound statement, Ava. Thanks for offering it. God bless!
Great message and timely as I was just talking about this subject with my grown daughter. I will share this information as she looks towards the future for her daughters. Thanks Nancy
Thanks, Yvonne. God bless!
You hit the proverbial nail on the head with your point that many people think sex is no big thing, that it’s all about “amusement and recreation and can be devoid of negative consequences” instead of “about commitment, reproduction, and raising the next generation.” Sex can be WONDERFUL and is when it’s by God’s design, in a loving marriage. But society tells us so many lies that kids often believe. I tell my kids the truth about sex… that they shouldn’t believe the lies of culture, that they should stick to God’s plan for their sex lives (that is, it’s better with their spouse and that God makes commands not to be mean but because He knows what we need and want to thrive as His children). Thanks for addressing this important topic.
So glad you’re engaging you kids on this topic, Jessica. And Perry (and the statistics) show you’re right about it being better in marriage. Thanks and God bless!
A worthy article. Every woman should read this. And every mother with young daughters should read together with those daughters.
Thank you, Melinda, for reading and commenting. God bless!
This book sounds very interesting. I have many conversations with young Christian women trying to navigate dating in the current environment. Unfortunately, the sexual revolution is alive and well even among Christian circles. Thanks for this info, Nancy!
You’re welcome, Annie. Thanks for reading and commenting. The book will arm you with knowledge for those you mentor. God bless!
The sexual revolution did turn out to be a lie. And it left so much damage in the wake of this discovery.
Amen, Karen. Thanks and God bless!
Well said Ms. Nancy. Sorry I missed this one.
Never a problem, JD. Thanks and God bless!
You’ve presented a great deal of important information. We all need to work together to mentor our young women. Society’s pressures are hard to overcome, but we must try. And pray for our young girls and women!
Amen, Katherine. Thanks and God bless!